Top five video game memories of the holidays

Hi. My name is Alex.

And I'm a huge nerd.

You see, my life history is comprised of three main things-

1. Music
2. The Tyler Pool
3. Video Games

Quite simply, I know an alarming amount of random video game facts. Did you know that the company Ultra Games was really just a ghost title set up by Konami so they could push more than the allotted amount of NES games for one publisher? Pretty sure you didn't. Do you know the names of all 64 mavericks in the Mega Man X series? Nope. The amount of random video game knowledge I possess is both impressive and slightly embarrassing but I'm not ashamed that video games have played a big role in my life. I can remember tons and tons of great memories involving video games so, in honor of the holiday season, I'm counting down my top five video game memories that occurred around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Saddle up, wrap some masking tape around the nose piece of your glasses and prepare for some serious nerd nostalgia.

5. A color crayon Christmas

Christmas, 1995

I didn't ask for this game. I'm not even sure I knew what it was save for a few screen shots I had seen in Nintendo Power. Because of this, you would think that I would've been disappointed when I tore off some wrapping paper and saw Yoshi's green face and that blue... water... thing staring back at me. Well, to be perfectly honest, I can't even remember unwrapping this gift. The reason is pretty simple- the complete and utter awesomeness of Yoshi's Island obliterated my short-term memory. My brother and I popped this baby in the SNES and the game was all like, "Hey Alex! Check out my incredible egg-throwing game play, crazy-amazing bosses and storybook art style!" and I was all like "I haven't entered my constant-swearing phase yet but holy cow and gosh darn are you cool Yoshi's Island! You are the best game I've played since The Legend of Zel-I'm going to play with my new Lego set now!"

Yes. I was a little ADD.

And how about the final Baby Bowser boss fight? SO bitchin'.

4. Skate or vomit! (Or both)

Thanksgiving 2001

I loved the Gamecube. Sure, it got ridiculed by the "cool kids" who were all hip with their PS2s and Halos and what not but I had some great, great times with Nintendo's little purple box. Combine that love of the Gamecube with my natural kick ass talent at Tony Hawk games and you can imagine the enthusiasm I felt when my brother walked through the door carrying THPS3 on the eve of Thanksgiving 2001. I had been playing Luigi's Mansion (the only GCN game I had at the time) like a madman and was about halfway finished with my second journey through the haunted house so the skate and grind of Tony Hawk was a very welcome change of pace. I played the game for hours that night- shredding my way through the refinery and into Canada, finally calling it quits after the rest of my family had long gone to sleep. Only a couple hours after I had rested my weary head on the pillow, I started having ridiculous, stomach-twisting pains. I tossed, I turned and, eventually, I ran to the bathroom just in time to expel the full contents of my stomach into the toilet. Ah. All better, right?

Wrong.

Hawk apparently infected me with some kind of super skating stomach virus because for the next 12 hours, the next 12 hours of Thanksgiving day, I was quarantined in bed while vomiting a substance the color and taste of I will never, no matter how hard I try, forget. It was Tony's fault. The radness of his third pro-skating outing was just too much for me to handle. That extreme bastard.

The game's intro though? Motorhead. Ace of Spades. Hell yes.

3. Al Unser Jr. Turbo Racing and Super Spike V'Ball

Christmas "way too old to exactly remember"

 

Talk about coming out of left field. I personally give my you guarantee that none of the Skjong brothers asked for either of these games, especially a beach volleyball game. However, after playing both of these games to death on the NES, I would ask for these exact titles again every damn Christmas if I could. Santa Claus, bless his obese, so-totally-not-your-parents soul, knew exactly what he was doing. Al Unser was fast and furious way before Vin Diesel made it cool to be those two things. Plus, you could totally see the Sydney Opera House in the distance on one course. That's fucking high-quality 8-bit detail right there. And don't even get me started on Super Spike V'Ball. Just look at that box art! It's like you're in the beach volleyball scene from "Top Gun." Only there's no flabby Goose (R.I.P., he was a good man) keeping his shirt on and ruining the vibe. The completely heterosexual vibe.

You know what? Screw gameplay.

Did you see Goose's half-assed, double-fist set to Mav? Dude deserved to die.

2. Watching my brother make a fire dragon his biznitch

Christmas, 1998

I don't care how many prostitutes you've banged and/or slaughtered in Grand Theft Auto or how many Superbowls you've won in Madden- The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is the greatest video game ever created. Ever. I won't argue why here, but trust me on this one. It's no surprise, then, that I have a ton of awesome memories from playing through this game for the first time over 10 years ago. But for this holiday memory, I wasn't in control of Link. There I was, all dressed up for Christmas Eve mass, watching my brother make his way through the fire temple. Soon enough, it was boss battle time. I sat all giddy as a schoolgirl while Christian smashed the shit out of Volvagia and loved every second of it. Truth be told, Volvagia isn't the best boss battle in the game. Not by a hookshot (heyo! Zelda pun!). For some reason, however, the combination of the excitement of Christmas and the pure incredibleness of Ocarina of Time has cemented this memory in my head. That plus the whac-a-mole style of the battle was pretty entertaining.

And seriously, it's the best game of all time.

1. Gotta catch 'em all! No, seriously. I must catch them all. Now. In color. Kind of.

Christmas, 1997

Allow me to tell you a popular "Alex was a spaz" story. In 1997, I had asked for a Gameboy Color and Pokemon Blue for Christmas. I had done my research and knew that the GBC ran on two AA batteries so, a couple days before Santa came when my family was getting ready to head out to a store, I threw a big fit and yelled and screamed and killed a puppy and demanded that I needed someone to buy me batteries for my Gameboy that I already knew I was getting.

At least, that's how everyone else in my family tells it.

The reality is, and I swear to whatever deity you worship this is 100% accurate, that I casually mentioned that maybe, possibly, perchance I should get some batteries. You know, just in case. But no, it has been transformed into a classic story of how I ruin surprises and cast a dark cloud of materialism over the most wonderful time of the year.

Well you know what? I don't care. Know why? Because I got my Gameboy Color AND Pokemon Blue and let me tell you, any slander as a result was totally worth it. If you've never heard of Pokemon, you don't exist so I'm surprised you're reading this. Christmas day was spent in a glorious haze of nothing but Pokemon. Hiking through Viridian Forest and battling Caterpie after Caterpie af-HOLY SHIT A METAPOD! Catching a Jigglypuff and being completely excited because one of my friends really wanted one and I knew I could trade for something cool for it. Choosing the bad ass that is Bulbasaur when all of my friends either had "my design is boring as hell" Charmander or "I'm just a turtle" Squirtle. Simply put, Pokemon Blue was an obsession. A wonderful, crack-like obsession that made Christmas 1998 one of my favorite holidays of all time.

Nostalgia, I choose you!

Did you crush Robotnik on Easter? 

Trounce Bowser on Christmas? 

Get more than one level into Contra on Thanksgiving?

Comment and tell your tale!