The five things I learned from "Ninja Assassin"

The elitists of the cinema world might scoff at "Ninja Assassin." "Ninjas?" they'd snarl while adjusting their monocles, "What could a film about ninjas possibly contribute to the viewer?" Well, after watching various bladed weapons eviscerate numerous limbs, I have discovered that contrary to popular belief, "Ninja Assassin" possesses some shiny gems of wisdom that will leave you wondering, "Lawrence of who?"